I have been married for 9 years to a wonderful man. I love him and I know he loves me and we have both been monogamous since we started dating 11 years ago. Prior to meeting my husband, I had had several sexual partners, both men and women. I love having sex. Even when I did have an orgasm from having sex, I still loved the act of having sex and the passion and emotion involved.
I just turned 35 and I am starting to have overwhelming feelings that I want to have sex with other people. When my husband and I have sex, it is fantastic and I almost always have at least one orgasm. But I desperately miss that overwhelming feeling of passion that comes with having sex with someone new.
My husband’s best friend just moved back to town and we have always had a flirty relationship. But since I have been seeing him more and more lately, my feelings for him have turned sexual. I am not sure if the feeling is mutual. We continue to flirt and the flirting gets more and more sexual, but the other night when I was at his house he said something sexual to me and I said something back. He laughted and told me that I was a “good sport”. I was like “huh?”. Does that mean that his flirting is not serious? I am confused…When I am around him he has started to touch me casually more and more which I thought was his signal to me that he is interested, but after that “good sport” comment I have no idea what to think. I was ready to confess to my husband that I was having sexual feelings toward his friend, but now I don’t know what to do.
Also, when we were at his house the other night my husband left at one point to go get something. Friend and I were alone in his apartment for about 15 minutes. He immediately went into the other room, which I thought might be a sign that he didn’t want to be left alone in the same room with me so something wouldn’t happen.
I have dreams about him at night that are very sexually graphic and I really believe that if I was left alone with him and he made a move on me I would not be able to say NO.
I don’t want to break up my family over sex, but I also can’t ignore the deep feelings and longings that I am experiencing.
What should I do? How do I know if the feeling is mutual? I am confused…